The Jelly Bracelets

We made all the boys wear bracelets
Plastic jelly bracelets
That we can break off

Here's how it works--

If we break off a yellow bracelet
It means the boy has to talk about his feelings
He has to hold hands with us
And cry in front of us
Without feeling ashamed

If we break off a pink bracelet
He has to get in touch with his feminine side
He has to try walking in our mom's heels
And he has to paint his nails
Without making a mess

If we break off a purple bracelet
He has to stand up to his mother
And tell her that he loves us
And she can't stand in the way
Of our happiness OR tell us how to raise our kids

If we break off a red bracelet
He has to take out the garbage
Empty out the dishwasher
Get the car washed
And pick up the kids at soccer practice

If we break off a green bracelet
He has to plan a romantic evening
Where he lights candles
Gives us a backrub
And watches a movie with Diane Lane in it with us

If we break off a clear bracelet
Then he has to tell us we look beautiful
A hundred times a day
For a month
And not complain about it

If we break off a black bracelet
He can't ask us for sex
Until we're in the mood
And when we are in the mood
He has to put on the fireman helmet we bought him

If we break off a white bracelet
He has to announce to the whole school
That our son is gay
And he's still proud of him
And that we will be attending his commitment ceremony

And you wonder why this
Is our new favorite game