Sleeping Beauty is Not a Morning Person

You want me to go where?

Uh...

Look, you're cute and all
And I appreciate you doing that whole
Cut through the forest of thorns
Slay the dragon thing

But I'm still really tired
And my hair's a mess
And I haven't brushed my teeth in like
A million years
So I think I just need to sort of
Acclimate myself
Back into being awake

Do you know what I mean?

Ohhh look at the pretty spinning wheel!

AHHH!

You don't have to scream at me
I just wanted to look at it
God, what's your issue?

You smell like a brier patch
And not in a good way

I'm going to get five more minutes

BUT I'M TIRED!

Did you bring coffee?

Are you kidding me?

You're supposed to rescue me
It's not rescuing me if I'm half-awake
Because the alleged 'love of my life'
Can't remember that I need
COFFEE IN THE MORNING!

Um...question

Did I sleep through my twenties?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Why didn't you get here sooner?

Oh, probably because you were just LOVING your twenties
While I was snoozing away
WithOUT a face mask, I might add

My skin feels like a snake's ass

Ugh, I'm so gross
It took me five minutes
To get all the crap out of my eyes

And why am I wearing leggings?

Oh right, I haven't shaved in a decade
Fantastic
Really
This is great

I don't suppose you brought a razor
And some exfoliate?

Of course not

Tell you what

Why don't you go back the way you came
And come back again tomorrow
And this time
See if you can be a little more prepared

I'm going back to sleep

Sometimes it doesn't pay
To get out of bed