When the panda got pregnant
The zoo staff had a meeting
A meeting to discuss the panda
And its pregnancy
And how it was impossible
You see
There is only one panda
At the Park Side Zoo
So the panda could not possibly be pregnant
And yet, it was
It very much was
Nick insisted that another panda
Must have somehow found its way to the Park Side Zoo
Some incredibly horny panda
That would be willing to travel for hundreds of miles
(Because the nearest zoo was hundreds of miles away)
Simply to mate
With Polly (The Panda)
Deena was convinced that it was Immaculate Conception
Which meant that the new panda baby
Was going to be the Messiah
It made sense
Pandas are adorable
And if they could talk
People probably would follow them into Heaven
Charlie thought the panda had sex with a zebra
Because the zebras were always getting out
And now the zoo was going to have the first ever
Panda-Zebra mix
And he wanted credit for naming it
"The Pebra"
Deena said that sounded like a urethra infection
And this caused the meeting to dissolve into chaos
. . . . .
Deena sat with the panda the next day
They ate leaves together
And talked about boys
Now that Deena was convinced
That Polly was the Messiah's mother
She knew Polly could understand her
So she told her about Todd
And how if they had a kid
He probably wouldn't leave her
'Polly, do you think you could bless me?
That way I could get pregnant like you are
Without having to have sex with Todd
Because he's kinda gross down there
But I love him anyway'
Polly looked at Deena like she was crazy
And then walked away
Deena thought that meant it was a good sign
A really good sign
No comments:
Post a Comment