Sassy Baby

My baby is sassy
He got on all kinds of shit
I buy for him
At the real stores
The ones in the mall
Not like where Connie shops
She's my sister
And she dresses her son
Like a Cabbage Patch troll

But I love him
I love that little troll
I'm his godmother
But he don't dress nice

Now my baby, Bug
He's downright sassy
I make him do runway with me

We walk up and down my hallway
Smiling and laughing
And when he falls I say--

Bug, you gotta get up!
You on the runway!
Get up, Bug! Get up!

Falling down ain't sassy
Ain't nothin' sassy about landing on your ass
Sass is gettin' back up
And finishing that runway

I like to drape him
Drape him with Minnie Mouse curtains
And pretend he's Italian

You wanna go on the Riviera?
That's what I say to him
Riviera? Riviera?

I was trying to make it his first word
But instead he said 'Toaster'
Which I don't mind
Cause that's kinda sassy

Now I gotta go get him a sassy toaster
And Connie's comin' with me
Because Troll Baby wants a yo-yo
Which is not sassy

My baby may be chunky
Connie keeps sayin' that

'Well, YOUR baby's chunky.'

Well, maybe he is
But you know what all that extra is?
It's sass, baby

My baby is full of sass