We're All Under the Bed

We're all under the bed
Because Olivia hates the monster
And the monster won't go away
And really, why should we make him?

It's sort of fun under the bed
We have to duck down low, of course
But we brought some books
And vanilla wafers
And a little glow light
That makes us all look like we have purple skin

And the monster moves around the room
Seeing if he can find us
But we're confident he won't
Because he can't bend down
Because his knees are made of little boy bones
Which are not bendable at all

And Olivia is happy to have us here
Underneath her bed
Where there's a war going on
Between the Lost Socks
And the Candy Canes

We're not sure how so many candy canes got under here
But they are notable for how well they're defending their territory
From the Lost Sock Warriors

Olivia doesn't take sides
And we're proud of her
For staying neutral
On such a hot-button topic

The monster tries to lure us out
With fresh hot cocoa
That he made with the cocoa machine
We let Olivia keep in her closet

But we won't be fooled!

We let him make the cocoa
And we even say 'Mmmm'
So that he can hear us
But not know where we are
Because he's a terrible hunter
And probably thinks we're in the next room

He keeps banging on the walls
Calling out our names
And we just giggle
And eat our wafers

Olivia brought her blanket under the bed
And we each brought three pillows
Because you can never have too many pillows
And Lionel the Cat is sitting on one
Waiting for us to read 'Spaghetti Cat' to him
Because it's our Thursday night routine

Bo the Dog won't go under the bed
He sits on top of the bed
And pretends to be a stuffed animal
Because he likes to see if he can fool the monster
And usually he does
Because though we'd like to think
That our monster is quite bright
He's not...not at all

We let Olivia make three wishes
Because we're surrounded by pillows
With tassels and plump from over-stuffing
And we feel like we're inside a genie's lamp

She wishes for a blue turtle snow globe
And we pull one from underneath the shaky floorboard
Where the blue turtle snow globe has always been hiding
Just waiting to be wished for

Then she wishes for a pink music box
That will have a ballerina on top
And play 'Luck Be a Lady'

And we reach into the hole in the mattress
And pull down four music boxes
And three of them have ballerinas on top
But only one of them plays 'Luck Be a Lady'
But Olivia didn't ask for more than one

Finally, she wishes for the monster to go away
So she can sleep in her own bed

And we feel very sad
Because we thought we were having fun
And it's well past her bedtime
And she has school tomorrow
And we were going to let her stay home
Because how much longer will she fit under this bed?

Another year?
Another month?
Another few days?

And how much longer until she's not scared of the monster?
And how much longer until Lionel the Cat can read to himself?
And how much longer until this isn't her room anymore?

But a wish is a wish
And none of this has anything to do
With a wish

So we climb out from underneath the bed
And we summon the forces of Lost Socks and Candy Canes
And together we approach the monster
Who has just finished eating the sofa cushions from downstairs
And we tell him that it's been fun
But now he really has to go

And he agrees
And Olivia comes out
And goes to sleep

And once we know she's asleep
We creep back underneath her bed
And watch the mattress float and sink
Resting completely
On her breath