Monday, September 7, 2009

Vicky and Claudette Go to a Concert

Claudette!

I can't get to the front
My boy Manny's on security
But I can't get to the front
Because he took the night off

The asshole

HEY!

I KNOW MANNY!

DO YOU KNOW MANNY?

New security guy
Doesn't know Manny
Manny's an asshole
He was supposed to be here

THERE HE IS!

Look at that cigarette in his mouth
Looks so yummy
Looks so good

To be that cigarette

SMOKE ME!

HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!

. . . . .

HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!

SMOKE ME!

Take me in your mouth
Light me up
And suck me in

Claudette!

He smokes my brand!
Did you know that?
He smokes Flintie's
That's how I know
We'd get married

You always marry the man
Who smokes the same brand as you

That's how you can tell
That's it, Claudette

Joe doesn't smoke?
Well that means you married a fag, Claudette

What can I tell you?

SMOKE ME!

I'M MANNY'S FRIEND!

MANNNNNNNNYYYYYY!

Manny's an asshole
He was supposed to be here
Now I can't meet my husband
Now I'm a nun
A holy woman, Claudette

Goddammit

I wanna be a long, thin tunnel
That carries his ashen comfort
Right into his beautiful lungs

I want him to tickle my tip
With his thin little stained lips
And then get put back in his pocket

Like a little kidnapped trinket

HEY!

LOOK OVER HERE!

I'M NOT CRAZY! I SWEAR!

Claudette! He's looking!
Quick!
Take off your top!

Do it, Claudette!
He's an artist!
He needs to see--

Oh Jesus
Put your top on, Claudette
Oh my God
That was--
Claudette, what in the--

My God

I'M SO SORRY!

Tell him you're sorry!

SHE'S SO SORRY!

Jesus, Claudette

Both of them?

Why didn't you tell me?

Does Joe know?
He does?
No wonder he doesn't smoke
Probably drinks instead

Maybe he just lost his pack in them
Oh my God...

Oh...

He's signaling to you
He's signaling, Claudette

Wait, does this guy coming up--
Does he work for--

Oh my God

Run, Claudette

RUN!

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