Do You Know What Time It Is?

"Oh!  You're up!"
"Yeah, I was just studying for an exam tomorrow."
"Were you?  That's great!  I have such a great son.  I'm so proud.  I'm going to buy you something tomorrow.  Something that plays music and does your homework for you!  Well, goodnight!"
"Not so fast."
"What?"
"Do you know what time it is?"
"Uh, yes, it's very late--you should be in bed."
"Nice try."
"I was just...out...having fun."
"Having fun?  At four am?  What sort of fun can be had at 4am?  Were you tipping a cow?"
"Sweetie--"
"Robbing a 7/11?"
"Now wait a sec--"
"Maybe you were at the IHOP for the past three hours since all the bars closed tonight at 1am since it's a weeknight?"
"We, uh, well--I do love pancakes."
"Are you aware you have work tomorrow?"
"I'll call out sick."
"Oh, so you'll lie?"
"Well--"
"I don't think so, Missy."
"But--"
"You're not sick.  Although you do seem a bit, shall we say, tipsy?"
"I am not--"
"I made a breathalizer test for my last science project.  I still have it in my room."
"I may have had one or two."
"Do I even need to say how disappointed I am in you?"
"It was your aunt's fault!  I wanted to come at midnight, but she was driving, and she doesn't work so she wanted to stay out, and I didn't have a choice and--"
"Did you think about calling me?"
"Well--"
"Don't I have a car?  Don't I have a semi-license?"
"Yes, but--"
"No excuses.  What kind of example are you setting for Dad?  Didn't we just get him to stop going to those stupid poker nights?"
"I just wanted to have fun!  Why won't you ever let me do anything?  Jennifer's kids don't care if she stays out late!"
"That's because Jennifer's kids all snort glue and watch movies on demand when she's not there!"
"WHAT?"
"But you're not supposed to know that, so don't say anything."
"Look, it was just this one time."
"I'm sorry, Mom, but you've left me no choice.  I can't let you chaperone prom next week."
"But I already bought the dress!"
"I'm sorry, but there are consequences for actions.  I just don't feel like you're responsible enough to handle it."
"What about my spa day with your grandmother next month?"
"We'll see how things go.  Now get to bed.  You have that presentation on financial dynamics tomorrow."
"Okay."
"Good night."
"We're not going to tell your Dad about this, are we?"
"What do you think?"
"I think you're the coolest son ever?"
"Nice try."