If You Actually Caught the Roadrunner

Wile, let me ask you something

As your therapist

What would happen

If you actually caught the roadrunner?

Would it make you happy?

Really?

What is it you're looking to do to the roadrunner?

Eat him?

We've already discussed how you feel about poultry

Because of that unfortunately childhood incident

With the silencing of the chickens

That your father stole from the poor farmer

So if you're not planning on dining on him

Then what's all that lip smacking for?

Show?

Who exactly are you putting on a show for?

Yourself, perhaps?

All these gadgets

All these toys

All these traps

That never seem to be successful

At catching the road-runner

Do you think it's really because the Acme company is really that incompetent?

Or do you think something bigger is going on here?

I hate to throw around the 's' word here, but...

Have you considered 'sabotage?'

Hey, how about another 's?'

'Self-sabotage'

Maybe you're what's standing in the way

Of your own happiness, Wile

Maybe it's not a road-runner you're trying to trap

In some giant net

Or clobber with some giant catapult

Maybe...it's joy

I think you need to keep coming back to see me

At least until you're out of the full-body cast

Somebody obviously has a plan for you, Wile

Otherwise, you would have been dead...at least a hundred times by now

So keep that in mind

And make sure to leave my secretary

Your billing information