Overheard at the Audition

Next!

Hi, what are you auditioning with?

'What I Did For Love?'

Is it a song about breast implants
Because that's what I think you did for love
Or work
Or both

Bye

Next!

'Send in the Clowns?'

Send in somebody else.  Bye.

'Not a Day Goes By?'

More like 'All the Gays Go "Bye"'

'Cause you're going--Bye.

Next!

'Circle of Life?'

You look like a panda bear
They don't have those in Africa
Bye

Next!

'With One Look?'

Love the show
Not the song
Why don't you sing--

'As If We Never Said Good--'

Bye

Next!

'If I Were a Rich Man?'

I wouldn't be sitting here
I'll tell you that much

Did you bring a fiddle?

Did you bring a roof?

Did you bring me a quesadilla?
I'm starving

Do you want this role or not?

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Lulla

Lulla who?

Lulla--Bye.

Next!

You worked at the Fresno Musical Tent?

That sounds like a place where they neuter kittens

What are you singing for us?

'Getting to Know You?'

I'd rather not

Bye

Next!

You look like a ham sandwich

Bye

Next!

Wait!

What were you going to sing?

'You're the Top?'

Top of the what?
Ham sandwich?

Bye!

Next!

'My Favorite Things?'

I'm so glad you asked

Quesadillas
Youtube videos of babies laughing at stuff that's not funny
Sassy homeless people

And pretty much anything but you

Bye!

Next!

What are you singing?

'Being Alive?'

Tell you what
Why don't you go to the dance call?

No, I don't actually want to see if you can dance
I just don't want to look at you anymore

If we had an origami call
I'd make you go fold paper swans
No go put on your tap shoes
While I update my twitter

Bye!

Next!

'Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better?'

I stopped paying attention
Halfway through the title

Bye!

Ugh, it's a good thing we pre-cast this thing months ago
Otherwise I'd have to actually listen to these people

Next!

What are you singing?

'Ev'ry Time We Say Good-bye?'

Have you been listening at the door?