Cleaning Out My Purse

I have lipstick in here someone
Somewhere within this purse
There is lipstick

I wish purses were designed differently

They give you all these pockets
But they don't actually help you organize anything

It's just a lot of pockets
Without any sort of triage system

I need my purse sectionalized
Into the following categories:

'Necessary,' 'Unnecessary,' and 'Frivolous'

Then again, I'm not sure what lipstick would fall under

At times it's necessary
And other times--

A ha!

No, wait
That's lip balm

Why didn't I put the lipstick with the lip balm?
Why don't I just keep all the lip-related items
In one lip pocket?

Instead the lip balm is in the pocket
With theater tickets for Friday
A menu for a Chinese restaurant
And three condoms

What kind of pocket is that?
That is a whore's pocket
Resting in my respectable purse

And what are all these photos?

These are photos of people I've never met

Did they come with the purse?

I can't even remember

Sometimes I take them out and show them to people
When they ask me what I did over the weekend
So I don't have to say--

'I watched Pretty in Pink five times on cable and finished off a small ham.'

Instead, I say--

'Look at my niece, Taratarena.  Yes, it means "she who isn't that creeped out by spiders."  It's Aztecian.'

Speaking of Aztec ruins
Here's that voodoo doll
I made of my ex

You'll notice that the head, arms, and genitalia are all missing

Last time I looked him up on Facebook
He was married with two kids
And only experiencing slight back trouble

So much for voodoo

This purse is bottomless
One time I stuck my hand all the way down into it
And I pulled back one of those talking mice
From Narnia

I should just dump this whole thing out

But the last time I did that
It was like spilling water

Somehow half a glassful can make it across an entire floor

I tipped my purse upside down
And suddenly I was unconscious
Underneath a pile of bad make-up
Half-used tissues, and a copy of People magazine

Forgetting dumping out my purse
Maybe I should just dump it
And start from scratch

Purses are a little bit like life, you know

Sometimes you're better off
Just doing a clean sweep
To all of it

The mess
The pockets
The half-eaten candy canes

Sometimes it's better just to swap our all the complication
For something...simpler

But I keep thinking what I'm looking for is there
It's there in one of those pockets
And that makes it hard
To stop looking