I Knew the Accent Was Fake

I knew the accent was fake

I knew the mustache was fake

I knew the language he claimed to speak was not French

But merely a bastardization

Of Pig Latin and Klingon

He didn't really know how to dance

He made love like an overeager sailor

He broke my heart

And kept going

I was almost impressed

I didn't know that was possible

I knew that when he said 'roommate' he meant 'mother'

I knew that when he said 'love' he meant 'like'

I knew that when he said 'beautiful' he meant 'you'll do for now'

I knew he was a liar

I knew he was a bad liar

I knew he wasn't bad enough

To get me to leave

I knew he'd never actually finished the book he said was his favorite

Or watched the movies he claimed to love

And I knew that he hated my grandmother when he met her

Because we all hate my grandmother

And the test of whether or not a person has merit

Is whether or not they have the balls to admit

That she's a horrible old shrew

I knew he hated her

But he smiled at her

And let her slap him several times

Claiming he reminded her of someone

Who attacked her once

I said--'She was never attacked.  She just really likes slapping people.'

I knew he'd burp--a lot

I knew he'd forget our anniversary--more than once

I knew he'd never be a good dad--and that really killed me

I knew a lot

But what I didn't know?

What I didn't know

Should be what you call this

This, this thing you're writing

Don't worry about what I knew

What you know never does you in

It's that one thing that escaped you

That one thing you forgot

That you forgot to look for

Something you never even thought of

That's what always gets you

That's what always

Brings you down