Oh Sorry--I Thought You Worked Here

Oh sorry--I thought you worked here

You're walking around in a red polo
And everyone who works here wears red polos
And no name tags!

Isn't that something?  No name tags?

How are you supposed to complain about bad service
When you don't even know the name
Of the person giving it to you?

Maybe you can help me anyway
Since you're only looking at colanders

Honey, a colander is a colander
As long as it strains the macaroni
What difference does it make what color it is?

Heck, you could just buy a bowl
And poke a howl in it

Anyway, what I wanted to ask was--

Do you think these shoes would turn on a man?

My husband has a thing for shoes
But for the life of me, I don't know why

What's so sexy about something
People keep their feet in all day

If someone kept their foot in a bag all day
Getting it sweaty and smelly
Would you want to drink wine out of it?

That's what my husband wants to do

A man turns fifty-four and suddenly
He starts looking at my Payless boxes
The same way I look at John Stamos

Isn't he a handsome man, don't you think?

You know when I married my husband
He looked NOTHING like John Stamos

That's how in love with him I was

Oh honey, are you buying triskets?
Why don't you just eat parrot food?
It's the same thing

Here, take my Oreos
You're too skinny
You need some frosting in your diet

So what do you think?
Should I buy these shoes?
Or send him to therapy?

I realize the shoes are cheaper
But the therapy won't break my toes

Does your husband have any sort of fetish?

Is he into cheese?
I hear there's this new thing
Where guys are into cheese

I don't know what they do with the cheese
But I don't think they eat it
Because what would be the harm in that?

Honey, please
Feel free to be honest
You can tell me if you think my husband is a pervert
I won't get mad

If anything I'll just wish I'd met you sooner

Hahaha...

Wait...

Do you speak English?

English?

Well, honey
You should really tell a person something like that
Before you--

Oh wait!  There's your name tag!

...Michael?

Oh...

Now I'm all sorts of confused