If You Want to Kiss a Tall Boy

If you want to kiss a tall boy
You have to stand up
As high as you can

And sometimes even then
Your lips don't make it

Last year when I was in the second grade
I mainly associated with boys who were my height
Because it made life easier

But when I got to third grade
I couldn't deny that my attraction lay
With the more vertically inclined

Now, I find that all I can think about is kissing James Stone
The tallest boy in third grade

He's so majestic
Towering over the rest of us
Like a billboard
Advertising beauty

How I wish he would be my boyfriend

Some people might say that his height is freakish
But I don't mind that he's five feet tall

Now if only I could make him see in me
What I see in him

But it's hard to create a moment
Full of romance and wonder
When you're standing on a cardboard box

'Hey Sheila,' James says, 'Why are you standing on a box?'
'Oh,' I say, 'I was just feeling...restless.'

I've taken to carrying my box around with me everywhere
And Mrs. Brugel is starting to get annoyed

'Sheila,' she says, 'Why do you need to take a box to the little girls' room?'
'Mrs. Brugel,' I say, 'It's private.'

No matter how many times I stood on the box
When James was around
He never gave me the time of day

It might be because we haven't covered am/pm yet
But it's still very frustrating

Look at me!  I want to yell at him

I'm the only person at recess
Who can make eye contact with you
Without looking up your nose!

Finally, I gave up

I wanted to throw my box in the garbage
Along with my heart
But instead I turned it into a diorama
Filled with characters from 'A Cricket in Times Square'

Because I believe in recycling

When James asked me where my box went, I said--

'What do you care?  I'm surprised you even noticed that I had it!'

Then, in spite of myself
I started to cry

That was when James Stone leaned down
And gave me a kiss on the cheek

'There,' he said, 'Does that make you feel better?'

And it did

I guess if you can't bring the box to the mountain
Then make the mountain lean down to kiss you

That's what we in the storytelling business like to call--

A moral