And How She Used to Live

She used to go to Braddock's every night
And get wasted on the dance floor

She'd rip the shoes off her feet
And the guys off the street
To gravitate above
The daytime

All her moons were baby pink and blue
No one could tell her nothing

She was smarter than her parents
And her teachers
And her boyfriends
And her best friends
And three hundred year old men

There were after school special
Theme songs playing
Constantly

And how she used to live
And how she used to laugh at herself
And how she used to back flip into it
Slip down underneath it
Fuck it, send it home
Then start all over

Look at all the disco balls
Coming down from the ceiling

She's back to packing boxes up
To sell her memories off
At a yard sale

She charges twenty for the good ones
And gives away the bad ones

She puts a price tag on the guy
Who made her cry
Until he blew his brains out

And now her kids all call her prudish
And her husband thinks she's dainty

Braddock's closed so now nobody knows
The way her hair fell

She burned all the photos
On a paper plate

And how she used to live

How much they'll never know
How much she keeps a few miles behind her
How much she couldn't write down without crying
How much she packs away for a rainy Sunday

When she can go downtown
And see the disco balls
Keep dropping
Like spiders from the ceiling
With nobody stopping them this time

She used to be the Queen
Of the two am experience

Now she's just a cupcake baking
Laundry shuffling
Nobody's nobody

If she could do it again
She'd probably take her time
And put it
Where nobody
Could get to it

That's just the cost of doing business
In a state of youthful exuberance

But part of her still
Can't help but think

I'm a star
I'm a star
I'm a star

I'm a motherfucking star

The lights went out
Not me

The lights went out
Not me

The lights went out
But I'm still bursting
Bursting
Bursting

And nobody can see