But on Facebook You Were White

I'm just a little confused, because...

On Facebook, you were...

I mean...um...

Of the...white...persuasion

Not that I'm against you...not being...white
It's just that...there's a certain...expectation
That you will look like what your photo looks like
And your photo is of a twenty-three year old white guy with lovely brown eyes
And you're a forty-seven year old Asian man...also with lovely...brown eyes

But what your profile is not an accurate representation
Of who you actually are

Sir--sorry--Dylan
Which, just so we're clear
Is not what I think your actual name is--

Dylan, please don't try convincing me
That that photo was taken two weeks ago

You do not become Asian
And age twenty years
In two weeks

Unless you're Benjamin Button
And even then
You need special effects people
And the love of a kind black woman

Were you under the impression
That I would just continue on with this date
Despite the fact that you're not at all
What you appeared to be on your profile?

Admittedly, I did order an appetizer
But that was just to absorb the shock I felt
When instead of Hunter Parrish
I sat across from Pat Morita

No, we cannot be friends

Trust is a huge factor with my friends
Except the girls
I lie to them all the time
And I don't really have many guy friends but--

The point is, you're creepy
And as soon as I'm done eating my mozzarella sticks
I am out of here

And none of this has anything to do
With me being racist

What?

Well...maybe I've gained a little weight
Since that photo was taken, but...

Well...I suppose cameras can be
A little...deceiving