Friday, March 11, 2011

Dr. Jekyll Screening Calls

Hello?

Who is this?

This is Dr--

Oh God, what did I do?

Sir Thomas, I am so--

If you would allow me to
I feel I should replace your dog

AND your cat?

Good Lord, I must have been starving

Again, my sincere apologies

Good-bye

MARY REILLY!

Please let me know when the person calling
Wishes to speak about something Hyde did last night

I have no recollection of doing anything
Nor do I care to find out

It's bad enough I spent all morning
Getting orphan blood off my trousers
But now I have to field calls from every--

Who?

The Bishop?

What does he want?

How many nuns?

Oh dear

Well, tell him I'll send him a check
How much does a nun go for these days?

Tell him I'm not here
Tell him I'm atoning for my sins
In some barren wasteland
Like Scotland or America

Don't get upset if he starts swearing at you in Latin
Just keep crossing yourself

What a day, what a--

Uh...hola?

Si...Si...uh...El doctore es no casa...

Meeser...uh...Meeser Hyde?

No Meeser Hyde...

Prostitutes?

Uh...uh...cuandale?

Si...si...money, uh, dolares para la...uh...happy time...si...

Adios

MARY REILLY!

Did I come home smelling like whores last night?

How many whores would you say I smelled like?

Hyde is going to put me in the poorhouse!

Dear Lord, who is it now?

...My mother?

No, no, something tells me
I better take this one

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