Arnie and the Angel

There was an angel
Behind the tree
In Mrs. Butterfield's yard

I called out to him from my window--

MRS. BUTTERFIELD!!!

THERE'S AN ANGEL COMING TO GET YOU!!!

ANGELS ARE FROM HEAVEN
DON'T GO WITH THEM
IT'S A NICE PLACE
BUT IF YOU LIVE THERE
IT MEANS YOU'RE DEAD!

But the next day, Mrs. Butterfield wasn't dead
And that made me relieved
Because I worried that maybe he didn't hear me
Because my mouth wasn't as big
As my mom says it is

The next day, I faked sick from school
Telling my mom I had malaria

I don't know if she believed me
But she was running late for her meeting
So she let me stay home anyway

While everyone was at school and work
I went to investigate the tree

Sure enough, when I got to Mrs. Butterfield's yard
There were feathers all over the ground
And a piece of a halo
Caught on one of the lower branches

When I looked up at the top of the tree
There was the angel

I named him Jim

JIM!

I yelled

ARE YOU OKAY?

He didn't say anything
But that might have been because
In Heaven he goes by a different name

YOUR NEW NAME IS JIM!

I called up to him

CHANGE IS A GOOD THING!

Now I had to figure out
How to get him down from the tree

. . . . . .

'Hello Fire Department?  This is Arnie.  There's an angel in Mrs. Butterfield's tree.  I'd like you to get him down, but please be very gentle.  This experience has been very titanic for him.  Hello?'

'Hello Police Department?  This is Arnie.  There's an angel in Mrs. Butterfield's tree.  I'd like you to get him down, but please leave your guns at the police station.  I don't want him panicking and zapping you to death with his angel powers.  Hello?'

'Hello Dad?  This is Arnie.  I stayed home today because I have malaria.  Do we have any really long ladders?  Hello?'

. . . . .

All my plans were failing
And I didn't know much about angels
But I knew they can't last very long
At the top of a tree

Eventually they turn into squirrels
Which aren't nearly as cool as angels

That's what google said anyway

Finally, I knew what I had to do

I had to climb...

. . . . .

The reporters showed up around three
And my mom and dad got there a few minutes later

Mrs. Butterfield heard me yelling from the top of his tree
And he called the fire department
And then the police department showed up too
And all the neighbors
And things kinda got outta hand

I'd made it all the way up to the top
But when I got there
I couldn't see Jim anymore

So I just started yelling

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME!
EVERYBODY LOOK FOR JIM!
HE'S NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE NEIGHBORHOOD!

My Mom yelled up--

WHO THE HELL IS JIM?

And I yelled down--

DON'T SWEAR!  HE'S AN ANGEL!

And she looked confused

When they finally got me down
Everybody applauded
But my mom and dad looked really mad

'Well,' my mom said, 'That answers the question of whether or not we'll be able to leave you at home by yourself this summer.'

My dad said my mom was working too much
And my mom said my dad was the same way
And it took Mrs. Butterfield clearing her throat
Really loudly
Near the two of them
So they stopped and looked at her

'I could watch him,' she said

They looked at each other

Mrs. Butterfield's yard was a mess
Because of all the people walking on it
And it was all my fault

Nobody believed me
When told them about Jim

Why would she want to watch me?

'I've got nothing else to do,' she said, 'I wouldn't mind.'

My parents said they'd think about it
But I could tell they were gonna say 'Yes'
Because they wanted to keep Mrs. Butterfield happy
After everything that'd happened

While they were talking to the police officers
Mrs. Butterfield leaned down and whispered to me

'Jim was my husband's name,' she said, kinda smiling a little bit, 'He planted that tree.'

She looked up at where I had climbed
Where the angel had gotten stuck
'He always did like checking up on me.'

Then she gave me a pat on the head
And went back inside her house