Adam and Eve's Prenuptial Agreement

"I just don't see why we need this."
"Sweetie, it's just a precaution."
"But why would we separate?  Then we'd be alone."
"I just think it's good to be on the safe side.  People change, you know."
"No, I don't know.  We're the first people.  You can only say people change if we change."
"And we might."
"Are you going to change?"
"I might."
"Well, don't."
"But I might."
"Um...please don't?"
"Adam, don't be silly.  Let's just do this and then we can have the Lord join us."
"I don't understand.  What is it you want to do?"
"I just...want to figure out...who would get to...keep what...if we...you know...went our separate ways."
"Okay."
"And it probably won't happen."
"Okay."
"But if it does, I want the giraffes."
"You--wait, what?"
"The giraffes.  They're mine.  If you and I don't work out, I'd like to keep the giraffes."
"But...I like the giraffes."
"I know you do, sweetie, but hahaha they're mine after all."
"How do you figure?"
"I named them."
"You named lots of stuff.  That doesn't make the stuff you named yours."
"Of course it does!  How else would you figure out what's yours and what's mine?"
"Eve, you named all the cool stuff!  You named the giraffes, and the dogs, and the cats, and the horses, and the elephants, and--"
"You named some fun stuff!"
"I named the rats and the mosquitos and the hyenas--"
"Those are kinda fun!"
"--And the termites and the cockroaches--"
"You do such good work with the bugs."
"--And NOTHING COOL!  You can't just take all the cool stuff.  You have to let me have some cool stuff!"
"Like what?  What would you like, Adam?"
"Well--"
"Remember, this is all hypothetical.  We're probably going to be happy together forever.  So, keeping that in mind, when I finally get sick of you, what do you want to take with you to fill up the empty shell I'll be leaving behind me?"
"The cows."
"The cows?"
"The cows."
"Hahaha okay."
"Okay."
"Okay, fine.  Have the cows."
"Wait, why are you okay with that?"
"Because, you want them."
"No, no wait.  You're okay with that because you don't want them."
"Well, no, I don't want them.  So you see, that works out fine.  Now, onto the places in the garden that we'll keep.  I'd like to live near the waterfall and the rainforest, whereas you can take that brown swamp where the hippos mate, and--"
"No!  Never mind!  I don't want the cows!"
"But you just said--"
"I changed my mind."
"Adam--"
"I don't want them.  They're stupid.  And that weird white liquid comes out of their udders.  That must mean they're broken."
"Fine.  Don't take the cows."
"I want the giraffes."
"You can't have the giraffes."
"But I want them."
"You're acting like a child."
"That's impossible.  I never was a child, therefore I cannot act like one.  I'm acting like a person acts because I am a person and the only other person is you and you are not a person right now because you are being mean!"
"And you're being an imbecile!"
"What's an imbecile?"
"It's a new thing.  I just named you it.  Imbecile."
"You take that back!"
"No!"
"Fine.  Give me my rib."
"What?"
"I want my rib."
"No!  It's inside me."
"Take it out please.  I want it."
"I need it."
"You don't know that."
"I'm assuming I do since the rest of me was built AROUND it!"
"GIVE IT TO ME!"
"NO!"
"I WANT IT!"
"TOO BAD!"
"I HATE YOU!"
"I HATE YOU TOO!"
"THIS JOINING IS OFF!"
"FINE!"
"FINE!"

. . . . .

"What was that?"
"I think it was...a Fight."
"Oh.  Well, I didn't like it."
"I didn't like it either."
"Let's not do that again."
"I agree."
"So can I have the giraffes?"
"Absolutely not."
"Okay."
"Are you just saying okay because you don't want to fight with me?"
"Yes."
"Hmm, I get the feeling that isn't the last time that's going to happen."
"Is that okay?"
"Hahaha oh you sweet silly man.  Of course it is.  It's exactly the way things are supposed to be."