Leave the Horse Alone

Now look here, Jessop
This is going to go real easy for you

If you want to shoot me
That's just fine

I've been shot before
And chances are
My skin is tougher
Than any bullet you have in that gun

Keep in mind, if you take a shot at me
I will be obliged to return fire
And attempt to kill you
As I don't see the point in shooting at a man
If you're only going to leave him
With an extra hole in his head

There might be prolonged gunfire
And some cocky young gunslinger
Might get it in his head
To come join in
And if that happens
I hope that we will construct a temporary truce
In order to shoot out
At least one eye
From any fool who shows his face
To try and look like a somebody
Instead of mind his own business

These are the parameters I deem fitting
And so long as we stay within these parameters
If I were to die
I would not be displeased

I do, however, make one request

Leave the horse alone

There is nothing sadder to me
Than when a perfectly good horse dies
During a gun battle

I believe people are rotten to the core
And I would not shed so much as a tear
If this entire town full of degenerates and whores
Went up in flames in front of my very eyes

But if I were to even see a spot of blood
Appear on the side of my loyal steed
It would cause me to die
A heartbroken man

So yes, we may duel
But I would ask that you avoid shooting my horse
At all costs
And I will do the same for you
And your horse
Which by the way
Is a lovely color

Is it cream would you say?

Well, regardless of that
I would ask that we respect each other's horses
And aim strictly for...well, each other

If I die, please see that my horse
Is sold to a decent person
Perhaps a farm with small children on it
That can ride Old Sam
And treat him kindly

As you may have figured
I will promise to do the same for your horse
Although truth be told
I would probably like to keep that horse myself
Because one can always use a back-up horse
But please don't tell Old Sam I said that

Well, if we're agreed
I believe it's time to start shooting

Just give me a second to say good-bye to my horse
Just in case
And then one of us can die
Like a man