A Woman Like the Moon

I wish I had a camera
To capture you drinking coffee
With your fingertips
Skating across the rim
Of the cup

Do you know I kissed another girl last night?
On the way back from the bar
The night convinced me
That it was the right thing to do

I let her taste my cigarettes
And she let my hand go up her skirt
And we fucked on a park bench
Except we didn't

But I thought we did

I thought we did until I woke up this morning
And realized that everything after the kiss
Was a mistake made only in my mind

But the kiss remained

I wish I could get a shot of you
Extracting warmth from my shoulder with your cheek

I wish I could comb my hair
And brush my teeth
And shower all at once

I wish I could begin this day
Some other way

But instead I get up and put my hands on the faucets
Lacking the will or strength or energy or balls
To turn them on
And clean even one part of myself

I look in the mirror and see specks of purple lipstick
Clinging to my lips

I go back into the bedroom
And see little purple specks
Everywhere I look

On the photos of us taped onto my walls
And your bra stretched out on my floor
And my pants still zipped but unbuttoned

Did you unbutton those
Or did she?

I seem to remember telling her all about you
About your bad cooking and your great laugh
And your dad dying last year
And the job you turned down in London
So you could stay here with me
While I play backwards Monopoly
And fuck around downtown after three
Trying to figure out which word on my college degree
Best applies to me

'Under' or 'Grad' or 'Honor' or 'Bachelor'

I put my head down in her lap
And she asked if you'd be asleep when I got home

I told her 'No' but I knew you would
Because you always think I'm being good

I didn't recognize that girl at first
But you know who she was?

She was the moon

All blue and serene and persuasive

I wanted her so bad
But all I got was a kiss
And then there was day
And nothing left to do
But come back here
And watch you drink coffee

While I lay in bed
Feeling like I should have woken up
Six years ago

I cheated on you with the moon

You've always been a woman like the moon
But you could never be the moon

And the only hope of this going on
Was the hope that she'd stay in the sky
Far enough away from my eyes
So I couldn't see her splendor

And now I have...

Do you think you'll be able to forgive me
Simply because it was a celestial body I fell in love with last night
And not just a woman?

Can you?

Can you accept my apology?

. . . . .

Well, you're wrong

You don't know it yet
But you're wrong