The Pillow Fight

Daddy, I'm not going to say
The pillow fight didn't get out of hand

Because clearly
The pillow fight
Got out of hand

What I would like to say
Is that I advised you against
Buying the pillows with feathers in them
Not just because they're old-fashioned
But because, in the event of a pillow fight
This sort of thing would happen

Now, of course I couldn't back down
From a pillow fight

I had to engage
When Jenna starting hitting me
With those lead-laden
Feather-heavy
Death sacks

You'll be glad to know, however
That I put her down
Like a rabid dog

Unfortunately not until after
Your office took a bit of a beating itself

Well, we weren't pillow fighting in your office, Daddy
We were pillow fighting in my bedroom
But then I stopped everything
And suggested we move somewhere
Where we wouldn't break anything expensive

Daddy, I have valuable dolls in my bedroom
All you have in your office is that old laptop
You bought, like, eight months ago
And that model you spent all last year building
For your presentation next week

Daddy, I can make you a new model
Of the city restructuring
Just get me some Popsicle sticks
And Elmer's glue
And I'll have it done by tomorrow

Oh, you know what?

Tomorrow's no good for me

I'm getting lunch with Jenna
To talk about the incident today
I think it's really important we keep the lines of communication open
So it doesn't happen again

Look, if you want some help cleaning up the mess
I'm sure Mom would be more than happy to assist you
Once she's done driving me to Jenna's house

See?

Problem solved