Norma Desmond Runs a (Slightly) Used Bookstore

Well...

Hello...

Have a seat

I'd offer a cigarette
But I've already burned down one (slightly) used bookstore
Under shall we say
Mysterious
Circumstances
And I'd hate to do it again

So often our sins only solidify
The second time around

That was a line from 'Her Lost Passion'
A film I starred in
Directed by the great Roderigo Moltenlava

We have the book somewhere around here

Of course, in the book
My character was meant to be played
By a twelve-year-old boy
But you can't let yourself be tied to the page like that, can you?

Or perhaps you like being tied down...?

You'll have to excuse me
I rarely have customers
Paying customers, anyway

Would you like a drink?

Or a copy of A Light in August perhaps?

Billy Boy Faulkner wasn't much of an author, in my opinion
But he was one hell of a sweet talker
And when he danced you around a ballroom
You knew he was going to dance you right into a waiting car
And back to his flophouse

But that's just my opinion

Maybe you prefer some lighter reading

I have a copy of my autobiography somewhere around here

It's called They Can All Go to Hell!  A Life of Gratitude
By Norma C. Desmond

That's right, I wrote it under a pen name

The literary critics would never take me seriously otherwise

You look nervous

Do I make you nervous?

Would you like to go for a dip in the pool?

It's not really a pool
I just flood the children's section
And dip my toes in
Every once in awhile

But in a pinch, when you're really...heated
It does quite nicely

What?

Tropic of Cancer?

I'm sorry, but I don't keep geography textbooks lying around
The last thing I want is some nosey college kid
Peering in through the windows
Wondering if he can get his Intro. to Asia book at half price

Oh--but don't go!

It's so lonely here
When the butler has the day off

A woman really shouldn't be alone in a (slightly) used bookstore, you know

What would the neighbors say?

Then again, the neighbors are a bodega and a tanning salon
So I doubt they're judgmental people

Still, you should sit
Relax, let me iron your pants
Stand behind you and look at the back of your with unbridled longing
Make vague statements towards that indicate I want to make love to you
And then set you on fire

Doesn't that all sound fun?

Well, of course it does

Now you man the cash register for a moment
And I'll go change into something a little more...suitable

Oh, and if anybody is interested in Bette Davis' biography--

It's half price