Sully the Cat Doesn't Know About the New Couch

I don't know about the new couch
I just don't

It's...

Eeeee...yeah...it's not working for me

For one thing, the material is hard to scratch
I keep getting my claws caught up in it
And then I have to just sit there
And wait for one of the owners
To come release me
Which is, you know, humiliating

And also, they yell

And I want to yell back--

'Well, this wouldn't happen if you hadn't gotten the new couch!  I mean, it would have happened, but you wouldn't know about it, so at least you wouldn't be mad!'

Do you know what it feels like
To get yelled at
While you're stuck to a couch?

It's not a good time
I'll tell you that much

The new couch is also black
Which is a problem for me
Because my fur is brown
And shows up on the black couch
When I take a nap on it

The old couch was about a million different colors
So everything just sort of blended into it

Now I'll be walking to the kitchen
Through the living room
Hoping the owners remembered
To put vitamins in my food
So that I'll be tricked into eating them
When I hear them carrying on
About how much I shed on the new couch
And why do I keep taking naps there
When I know I shouldn't?

I feel like saying to them--

'If you had just kept the couch in bathroom
Next to my litter box
Then I could sleep in there
And pretty much live in there
If you moved my food dish in there
And everything would be perfect
Except I'd have to ask you both
To use the facilities less frequently
As I'd find it disruptive'

But instead I just coughed up something near the television
And moved on

You know, living with people is never easy
But would it kill them
To consult me
On the decor?

Oh well.

You know that mouse that's been running around the basement?

I might just let it live there
And not do anything about it

Maybe then they'll start to appreciate me more