I Just Ironed That

Gary!

Didn't I just iron that?

I just ironed that!

Take off that shirt
I have to iron it again

You sat down in it

Once you sit down in something
You've ruined it
It's ruined

Look, I see a wrinkle

There is a distinct wrinkle
Right near your collar

I can't let you leave the house
Looking like that!

People will think I don't love you!

Only mothers who don't love their children
Let them walk around in public
In wrinkled shirts

You know what?

Take off those pants too

I see a wrinkle

Right near the right pocket

Oh God, and you looked so nice a second ago
You were perfect
Why did you sit down?

I saw you do it
I saw you sit down
It was like watching somebody
Deface the Mona Lisa

Your legs were tired?

Then you should have jumped up and down

When your legs are tired
What they're really saying is--

'Wake me up by jumping up and down!'

That's what you should have done

You should ask your mother about these things
I know about science

Now give me those pants

Fine, then take them off in your bedroom

It's not like I was changing your diapers
Ten years ago

Apparently since then I've contracted amnesia
And anything I see on you
Is going to come as a complete surprise to me

Oh! Take off that tie!
I see a wrinkle!

How did this happen?

I just ironed that tie
While it was around your neck
How did it get wrinkled?

The style?

The style is for it to be wrinkled?

A tie?

And we paid money for that?

Take it off
I'm returning it
I still have the receipt

I've kept the receipt for everything I've ever bought
If you had come with a receipt
I'd have kept that

Don't be crazy, I love you

But I love my car too, and I still got a warranty just in case

You never know, Gary
You never know

Now take all that off upstairs
And then throw it down to me
So I can iron it

And this time you're not putting it on
Until we're in the car
In front of the church
With the passenger door open
Ready to go in

I'm not taking any chances this time

Now go!

Wait!

...Didn't I just comb your hair?