Look at This Asshole

Hey look at this asshole

Hey asshole!

Look at him

Like he's not an asshole

YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!

Asshole

Reminds me of my brother
You ever meet my brother?

He's an asshole

I give him twenty bucks
To buy some shit with
What does he do?

Asks me for twenty more
The next week

I said, 'Asshole, I just gave you twenty.'
He said, 'Dickhead, I don't need a lecture.'
I said, 'Apparently you do, pussy teeth, otherwise why would you need more money?'
He goes, 'Screw you.'
I go, 'Screw you.'

Turns out he bought me a birthday present

With my own money!

What kinda asshole does that?

Then it turns out, it's twice as expensive as he thought
So not only is he an asshole
He's not even a smart asshole

A smart asshole I could live with

Then you take my son, Jonny

Fuckin' asshole

'Jonny,' I said, 'Why are you dating that tramp used to get passed around the block like a leaf blower in September?'
'Dad,' he says, 'She's pregnant.'

Jesus Christ, what an asshole

Probably not even his

We'll find out when the kid's born
And he starts talking

Soon as he says something stupid
I'll know he's Jonny's

That girl gives birth to an asshole
It's gotta be my grandkid

I can't be a grandfather before I'm fifty
I made my father a grandfather before he was fifty
And that's why he was an asshole

Now I'm going to be an asshole
Son-of-a-bitch

Hey, look at that asshole!

HEY ASSHOLE!

He thinks we're talking about someone else
Doesn't even realize he's an asshole

I almost feed bad for him

Almost