Monday, January 31, 2011

Medusa Complains About Her Love Life

You know, it's just--

He's there, and he's got flowers
And I'm, you know, I'll find something to put them in

And as soon as I go to take them from him

BANG!

He turns to stone

I mean, what am I supposed to do with that?

If he doesn't want to make himself available to love
Honestly, what can I do?

The flowers were nice

But the last thing I needed in my yard
Was another stone man
So terrified of commitment
He prefers to turn himself into a lawn ornament
Rather than actually make a real connection with someone

The last guy brought a mirror

Can you believe it?

A mirror on a date

You can imagine what THAT did for my self-esteem

At least that one made eye contact
But it still ended up being a disaster

I couldn't look at the mirror for some reason
So he kept trying to get me to see me
Seeing me seeing him
And before I knew it
I had thrown the mirror down on the ground
And I was halfway through giving him a piece of my mind
When what do I realize?

He's come to kill me

Should have seen that coming, I guess

I don't mind the ones who come to kill me
It's the ones that are afraid of snakes that I mind

Do you know how many guys I've had to lecture?

'These snakes are a PART OF ME!  If you love me, you have to love ALL OF ME!  Snakes included!'

I mean, honestly
There is no sensitivity left in this world

No, no--please

Do not fix me up with anyone

I'm giving up on dating

I'm never going on another date again

...Blind?

He's...blind?

Eyes pecked out by crows as punishment for cursing the gods?

How...intriguing

Well...never say never I guess

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