Paulina at the Convention

Hello Happy Conventioner!

You come to my stand, yes?

You come look at the filthy wares I bring to you
As a cursed peasant woman
Might bring her deformed child
To the godless orphanage?

When I opened my adult materials store
Paulina's Palace of Porn
Many years ago
I had no idea
That I would be joining the tanks
Of such disgusting people

No, what you will find in my store
Is nothing like some of what I have seen here today

I sell quality merchandise
To people possessed by the lust demon
Who crawls out of the ground at night
And pleasures himself
On front lawn
While howling at moon
Like gypsy woman

At least, this is what I tell the classmates of my nieces and nephews
When I attend their career day

I could let their mother, my sister-in-law, go in my place
But she is career woman
And Paulina cannot allow her to fill innocent inferior girl minds
With thoughts of working same as man and waiting until the spinster age of fourteen to get married

So instead I go
And talk about my respectable career
As smut peddler

Ah, look at all the happy sluts walking around
As if their booshnita is not foul and dank
Like mouth of oxen

And the men chasing after them
Their pinunus filled with sin
And the ability to create other little perverts
Who will keep Paulina in business
And one day, God willing, make her a francheese

These sluts and perverts are not like my customers

My customers are tormented, shame-filled people
Who feel badly about their sick and twisted habits
Of which I cater to

All the while telling them how terrible they are
So they feel like they are being punished for what they love
And enjoying it at the same time

This is why so many of Paulina's customers
Are United States Senators

Toys?

No, I do not have toys

Where I am from
We do not believe in toys

The only game we had was--

'Cut Off Your Finger and Try to Sew Back on Before Bleeding to Death'

Paulina won this game many times
But put a few fingers
Back in wrong places
Which ended my promising career
As concert pianist

But is all for the best

Now I have store
And am rolling in toe

Enough toe to come to convention
And learn from pimps and scum of earth
How to expand my business portfolio

Oh!

If you'll excuse me
I see one of my customers
Coming over to say hello

They are a very loyal bunch
Bless their disgusting hearts

Hello Mr. Senator!

That disguise is most concealing
You are a smart little pervert, aren't you?

Tell me

Are you enjoying the convention?

Oh, I am enjoying it very much

In Russian, everyone here would have been shot by now
But in America, this is called free Starship Enterprise

It is enough to make me glad I am old
And will be dead soon
Before I can witness anymore progress

God willing, yes Senator?

Yes, God willing