When She Lost

My mom is--

We disagree

First and foremost

I love her
And we disagree

And those are two separate things

You know?

Separate

Because the fact that we disagree
Does not, I mean, it wouldn't--

It wouldn't normally matter
One way or the other

You love someone
You disagree with them
You move on, right?

You move on

But...

She would probably mark the end of the election
The last point at which she had a chance
With the question about the mayor picking his kid up from school
During an emergency
Where she made a joke
About kids
And the mayor's son had been killed
In a drunk driving accident
And all of that got turned around
And she lost
And she attributes that whole thing
To her losing

Okay, but--

What she doesn't realize

Is that, for me

There was another moment

Another more, I mean, another moment

When she lost

And it was another question

And it didn't get--

I mean, there wasn't a lot of coverage for it
But I mean, obviously
I read more interviews
I mean, hell, I'm there for a lot of them
So not as much goes unnoticed, you know?

Um, and, there was a question
From--I think, well, no, I know
We were on a public access show
This little show, and she got asked
About--and I should say I wasn't there
I watched it later
And I wanted to talk to her--

You know what, let me just get to it

Um, she was on this show
And it was friendly fire

Which is what she called any press thing
Newspaper, interviewer, whatever
Where she was being treated kindly
Because the interviewer was a Conservative
And the show was really for Conservatives
But that wasn't explicitly stated, of course
So anyway, friendly fire
And she's asked--

'If your son was gay, and wanted to get married, would you tell him he could?'

...Now, it is not public...knowledge
That I am gay

It is not, I mean
It's not something that was put out there
Which was calculated and not calculated

I didn't want it put out there
Because I didn't want to be out there
In any way

But I am not ashamed of the fact
That I am a gay man

My mother knows I'm gay
My father knows I'm gay
My boss, my friends, everybody
It's not a secret

But it wasn't something that was discussed
As part of the campaign

Anyway, she was asked the question
By this interviewer, who probably didn't know about my sexuality
Or maybe even was certain that I would be straight
That the son of a prominent Republican running for mayor of Providence
Would be straight, when in all actuality
Life is ruled by irony, and so of course I wouldn't be straight
But anyway, I don't think she, the interviewer
Was trying to trap my mother in any way
She was just asking a question

And sort of a pointless question, because--

Well, my mother has no say in gay marriage

She wasn't running for Senator or House Representative
Or President, or what have you
And it always bothers me
When people make those things issues
When the people they're electing
Can't do anything about those issues, you know?

I mean, we're basically asking them their opinion
We might as well be asking them
What their favorite movie is?

It's not like after that, if they get elected
The movie is going to be broadcast on the side of City Hall
Twenty-four hours a day
So we'd better like the answer

You know?

But they asked this question
This sort of Sophie's Choice question
About gay marriage, you know?

And...

I never talked to my mother about that
About...marriage

Because I haven't...

I mean, it never came up
Honestly, it never has

And...

I knew what she would say
And I didn't know

You know?

I knew and I didn't know

So when she said--'I would tell him that he shouldn't be able to get married. That marriage is between a man and a woman. I would continue to love and try to understand him, but I would not support that decision.'

...Um...

I don't know if that's what she actually believes

I would hope...

I know...that...sometimes you say what you have to say

We all do it

For our jobs
For our friends
For the sake of looking...

We do it, you know?

But I didn't...

I didn't know what she was going to say

And I sort of hoped that...

That it wouldn't be that, I guess

That it would be something else

And for me, that was the moment when she lost

Maybe not the actual election
Because realistically, maybe six people saw that interview
Including me

But, in my opinion
If you want to know
That answer?

That was when she lost