They've Got Gold

They've got gold in the house
I can see it, Peter
I can see the gold

If you come up--

Wellllllll, if you just come up to the--

Yes, Peter, I realize that

But when we didn't get the flatscreen what did I say?

And when we didn't add on the sunroom
What did I say?

And when we saw them walking down the street
With their IPhones on leashes
All different color leashes
And the IPhones walking along
Using that new 'Your IPhone Can Walk Now' app

What did I say?

That we needed to be conscious of our place
In this neighborhood

That we need to set an example
That we need to examine what we're saying
About ourselves

And now they've got gold, Peter
And that means we're never catching up

We're done, Peter
We're just done

They have a giant wall of gold in their living room
And it's giving their skin a beautiful golden hue to it
That only important people have

And we don't have that hue, Peter
And despite my experimentations
With different self-tanning solutions
I can't come up with the right coloring

They'll end up inviting the neighbors over
So that they can have just a touch of hue
But not the perfect tech
But still more than we have, Peter

And we won't be invited
Because they know
That once upon a time
We were important

And they won't want to risk
Letting us feel that feeling again
Lest we finally stop dilly dallying
And consume as we used to

I'm sick of the organic food, Peter
I'm sick of shutting off lights whenever I leave a room
I detest our compost heap
I miss my old carbon footprint!

And in our living room
Where our wall of gold should be
The wall we EARNED
There is NOTHING
But pictures of ourselves
For us to look at

And they are HIDEOUS

We look awful in those pictures, Peter

Mirrors?

Those are mirrors?

Well, all the more reason for them to come down

After all
Why would you ever need
To look at yourself?