How to Ruin a Good Bed

You could jump up and down on it
You could eat on it
Spill things on it
Not clean up
When you're done

You could take a knife to it
Thrust it deep into the mattress
And pull down, down, down
Until the rip opens up
And the stuffing comes out

You could tie ropes to it
And yank on it
Watch the headboard
Come loose and fall down

You could rip the sheets off
And the blankets
And the pillows
And sleep on it
Like you don't have a penny
Or a pension or a pot

You could treat it like shit
And sell it at a yard sale
Just to buy it back off yourself
And sleep in with it
Like you never planned on leaving

You could hitch it to a truck
When you move it
And push it up stairs
When you move it
And fuck another man on it
When you move it
And hope I don't smell his cologne on it
When you move it
And tell me I'm crazy
While I'm sleeping
On the spot
Where you got to feeling sneaky

I guess that'd be one way to ruin it

And when you're done
Doing it
Whatever it is
You're going to do

You could flip it over

And ruin the other side too