Brandy, stop asking me
Where you can get licorice
This ain't no movie theater
This is a theater theater
A real theater
Where they do War and Peace and shit
I brought y'all here
Because y'all are my roommates
And y'all need some culture in your lives
I'm sick of coming home
To find the three of you
Sitting around the television
Watching 'Which Dumb Slut is Going to Slap Another Dumb Slut?'
Those shows are the devil's work
And I should know
Because I've seen every episode of 'Dumb Sluts'
So it's time we all spent a night
Soaking in some real intelligent--
Cindy, stop making eyes at that usher
That man needs to do his job
And his job is not to usher your ass
Back to his apartment after the show is over
Don't tell me he likes you, Cindy
If he likes you so much
Then how come there are four seats down front
And he still stuck us in the section
You have to take an elevator to get to?
I'm going to have to watch this show
Through the Bubble telescope or something
Because I can't see a thing
Brandy, how much did you bring back from the refreshment counter?
Is that WINE?
Ohhhh nooooo
You are not getting drunk at the theater
Who do you think you are?
One of the actors?
Tina...
Tina...
Tina...
Don't be yelling at me in the theater, Tina
Just because you wanted to get tickets to Phantom of the Opera
And instead I got us tickets to a real show
If you want to see the Phantom of the Opera
Call up your last boyfriend
I wish somebody'd dropped a chandelier on his ugly ass
Now look, everybody just shut up
Until intermission
I expect y'all to watch and listen
And culturize yourselves
And Tina you better not have forgotten to tape the 'Dumb Sluts' reunion show for me
To watch when we get home
Otherwise I'm going to throw your ass onstage
And make you tap dance
Now behave like real theater people
Ohhhh the lights are going down!
I better call my mother and tell her I'm at the theater
She'll be so proud to hear how sophisticated I've gotten
Don't shush me, Tina!
We're in a theater!
Hello Mom?
GUESS WHERE I AM?
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