The Question I Asked

The question I asked
Was a misogynistic question?

Yes, yes it was

Why do you think they had a woman ask it?

That's not a coincidence

There are certain patterns you notice
In nature
And by, 'in nature'
I mean in life
I mean in the dirtier aspects of life

Women are positioned to tear down women
Did you know that most of the time
When a man murders a woman
A woman ends up defending him in court
Granted, that's if you have the money to afford a firm
Smart enough to hire a woman

But the statement it makes is clear

If this guy were actually going to harm a woman
Would another woman be defending him?

And of course, the answer is always
Categorically
Yes

For the right amount
People will do anything

People say I'm a scumsucker
That I'm in the scumsucker business

Well, let me tell you something
If you're not in business these days
You're out of business

And I'd rather be in business

This isn't news to you, is it?

My job may be the news
But there isn't actually any news anymore
There are just reminders

Don't worry so much about Ms. Scott
And the question I asked her
That cost her the election

She may not be mayor
But by tomorrow she won't even be news

Last night, a female movie star
Kissed another girl
And somebody caught it all on camera

Is that more important than a mayoral race, you ask

To which I answer, define important

Because as far as I'm concerned
Important is determined by you

The readers, the viewers, the participants
The audience, the crowds in the arena

You decide what's on the front page
Not me

You can say the media is manipulative
But you know which section of the newspaper
Gets read the most?

The obituaries

That should tell you something
About where people's minds are at

I, for one, am not going to pretend
I'm in a noble profession

I'm a proud scumsucker
But even I feel bad about what happened
To Could-Have-Been-Mayor Scott

I wanted a good quote
Not the ruination of someone's career

Oh, sometimes I want that
But most of the time
I just need the quote

So I baited her with a gender-specific question
That pushed that old button--

Can you be a woman and be anything but a mother?

And she bit it off
Like the mule bites the carrot

Who knew?

I was champion because of that
Walked into my office
It was like I killed a wild boar
And brought it home for supper

My boss was only too happy
To see a female mayoral candidate go down in flames
And what made it all the better
Was that it was another woman who brought her down
So nobody could claim sexism

Isn't that lovely?

Do I regret asking it?

No

It's my job
And it was her job to answer
And only one of us
Screwed up at our jobs that day
And it wasn't me

I may have dug the hole
But I dug it right in front of her
And she still walked into it

So no, I don't regret it

Oh, but I have other regrets

Do I regret wasting my time in journalism school
Only to become a glorified stalker?

Yes

Do I regret not telling my boss to screw
When he offered to buy me dinner after sinking Ms. Scott?

Yes

Do I regret writing the story
That accompanied the answer to that question?

The final nail in the coffin?

Yes

But it's my job

And it may not be important to you
But that's fine

Because it's not your rent
I'm worried about