And Something Happened Over Time

He's getting married
I watch 'My Best Friend's Wedding'
I try not to identify with Julia Roberts
I desperately try
Not to identify
With Julia Roberts
And yet I do
And yet, I have no urge
To ruin a wedding
Even with an attractive gay friend
At my side

I had lots and lots of time
To see my best friend
As something other than what he is
And no, I'm not going to say
That now I'm suddenly wildly attractive to him
I just...

I just haven't stopped seeing him as a brother
As like, a little brother
And...

And it's weird

To see him do something so--

Grown-up

You know, we met on a playground
And I know I've changed
But I still sort of see him
As that kid on the playground

I mean, he's going to have kids now, right?
That's what married people do?
Have kids?
Buy houses?
Eat Chinese food only on special occasion?

One day my best friend was this guy
Who helped me clean up
After I threw a house party
And my parents decided to come home early

This guy with a giant trash bag
Furiously throwing everything he could into it
Including that nice vase
That I'm pretty sure we kept my grandma's ashes in

All the while being totally wasted
And making me laugh
In that adorable irresponsible
Cute teenage way

When did that guy
Turn into this guy?

When did I get old enough
To have a married friend?

Has time gone by that fast?

Should I have been paying more attention?

Maybe I missed something
Maybe I missed a lot of things

Or maybe I just liked
Hanging out on that playground
For as long as I could