Boyfriend Time

You know, I have to tell you
This whole situation is working out
Really well

I admit it's a little unconventional
But if you've ever had him as boyfriend
You'd understand

He needs, like, constant
Uninterrupted attention
And, you know, I love him
But who has the time for that?

I mean, with my job
And my grandmother
Moving out of the house
She's lived in for decades
And getting used to that
I just don't have time
To be his, you know
Around-the-clock girlfriend
I just don't

So, when I found out she was interested...

I mean, it's not like some weird polygamy thing

She just spends half the week with him
And I spend the other half the week with him
Or, you know, seventy-thirty
Depending on whether or not I have a big test or something

It's been working out
Incredibly well

I barely even see her
So there's no jealously factor

It's not like he's some sort of sex maniac anyway
He and I barely--

But I mean, that's personal

Hahaha

Anyway, she can sleep with him twice a month
And she seems fine with that

And, oh my God, all this extra time
Is just wonderful

If I didn't already have a boyfriend
I'd think about getting another one
Just to do all this extra stuff with!

You know, we do it with jobs

We juggle two or three
And nobody judges us for it

In a lot of ways
A boyfriend is just a job
It's just a job you don't get paid for
Because then you'd be a prostitute
And--anyway, it's working great

Although she and I talked
And apparently
His mom and dad might be getting a divorce
And so we're both thinking
Maybe we need to take on another girlfriend

I mean, why kill ourselves, right?

My grandma always says
A good boss knows how to delegate

It must be true
Of girlfriends too