Dorian Gray

Everybody knows the story
Of Dorian Gray

The portrait ages
He doesn't
Something like that

It's all about cheating death
And time
And the inevitable downward slope
Of attraction

Going from gorgeous
To grotesque
And morality is factored in there too
But we won't get into that
Because it's a little complicated

A guy asked me today
How long it takes
To become an expert in something
And I told him
But it was really a guess

He said he was planning a proposal
And he had this whole metaphor worked out
And I'll admit
I thought it was pretty good

A little Hallmark-y
But good

This was in a bookstore
We struck up on a conversation
While this reading was going on

He was cute
This guy
He said 'girlfriend'
And I went
'Ugh'
Because I was mildly certain
He was at least
Well, curious

No dice

Anyway

We got to talking
And he could see I was reading Dorian Gray
And we started chatting about it
And I told him how I envied him
I mean, not morally, of course
But the whole frozen in time thing
It...it's appealing to me

My father's going bald
My mother's metabolism has completely halted
My skin is already starting to turn this wonderful shade of oyster gray
And I just wish I could stop it all

Because I'm not a nice person
I'm cute, but I'm not--

You know, youth is one of my only virtues
If that even is a virtue

And I said all this to the not-gay boy
And he...

He smiled at me
In a very nice way
A very kind way
And he told me
That there's still time
To become a good person

And I guess he's right

But a portrait in the attic
Still wouldn't hurt, you know?

Just in case