Time for Women

Listen to me now
This is no time for women

This is a time for you
To forget about women
Good women, anyway
A bad woman right about now
Would be fine

You are getting married
You are going to spend the rest of your life
Surrounded by women

Knee-deep in women
I have a wife
And four daughters
And a mother-in-law who lives with me
All I have lately
Is women time
And I was promised
When you got married
That I would have a weekend
Free of women

Now, you promised me that

The only good thing
About having a guy friend get married
Is the bachelor party

You think men like weddings?

The only thing a man hates more than someone else's wedding
Is his own

Oh, I love my wife
But I didn't love that wedding

There were ribbons everywhere
And exotic birds
And we had some sort of crystal theme
That maxed out two credit cards
And to this day
I still can't explain it to you

Now you may not be able to avoid all that
But you can avoid having your bachelor party be ruined
By bringing along that friend of yours

Don't tell me she's a tomboy
Tomboy is just a word
Women came up with
So they could deceptively weasel their way
Into all our clubhouses

They put some dirt on their face
And throw a baseball cap on
And all of a sudden
We're supposed to think
They're the same as men

Well, nobody's getting in this clubhouse tonight

We are having men time

We are going to drink
And eat things with salt
And crush things with our bare hands
And use obscenities around old people

This is no time for women
So that best friend of yours
Can stay home
And don't bother showing me a picture of her because--

...Is she single?

Well, I mean, you know...

The more the merrier