A Time to Move

Okay, that's it

I can't listen to the Eucalyptus Singers of Sydney
For one more second

We have to call the police

Jesus, what time is it?

We're going to get three hours sleep again
And then I'm going to show up at work
Looking like a domestic terrorist

I know you don't want to hear this
But I think it's time
We thought about moving

I know how much you love
The East Side lifestyle
But we're paying twice as much in rent
As our friends on the west side
For less parking
More noise
And an apartment half as big

Just so we can live
Within walking distance
Of a hookah bar
And an organic yogurt shop

You know I'm as liberal as the next guy
But the East Side is becoming a little too East Side-y for me

It's all becoming so abnormal
Even our noisy neighbors
Can't be conventionally noisy

Last night, the people upstairs
Kept us up by throwing a Sam Peckinpah movie marathon
Until 4am on a Tuesday

And now the grad students downstairs
Are listening to Australian gospel choirs
And having loud discussions
About who the world's greatest cellist is

I'm sorry, but things have officially gotten
Way too hipster for me

This girl who comes in for coffee
Was talking to somebody on her phone today
About how she's getting a condo
And she said the price was good

I know we're still getting on our feet
But it might be nice to...

Okay, I'm going to say something right now
And I don't want you
To freak out

Warwick

Okay, okay, okay
But here's the thing:

We're not in college anymore

I realize we're on the college periphery
But that is not the same thing
We have got to start moving away
From the periphery

And now is the time
For that

It's time to move

We can talk about it some more in the morning

In the meantime
I'm going to pretend the Eucalyptus Choir
Is singing me a lullaby

Maybe that'll help me sleep