A Time to Quit

So, you're promoting her, huh?

Well, I guess that means
It's time to quit

I know I'm significantly younger than her
But, call me crazy, I thought I'd still have a shot

And this doesn't have anything to do with
Her being pregnant, right?

Oh, come on
You haven't noticed her
Running out of morning meetings
So she can go throw up?

Either she has an eating disorder
Or she's pregnant
And she looks way too miserable
To have an eating disorder

So a kid's probably on the way

Now, far be it for me
To deny an expectant mother
A promotion
That will no doubt
Be sorely needed
But I gave up going to college
So I could intern here
And if you're me I just threw away
The last year of my life
For nothing
Then I'm going to have a problem with that

Which means I should be quitting
But, though this may seem like a time to quit
I'm not entirely sure it is

You see, quitting's not really my thing

I like to go down fighting
If I can

So let's think about what we can do
To make sure this is a good day for everybody
And not just Little Mama, okay?

Now, I know that there were two promotions up for grabs
And since we know where one went
I'm guessing that means the other one
Went to your nephew
Which is probably why
Nobody brought in a cake for him

Want to keep that one quiet
Don't you?

That's fine
That's just fine by me

Except if I have to choose
Between who's getting demoting
Well, the thing is
I kind of like Little Mama
And I do not like your nephew
Not one bit

I especially don't like
That he grabs my ass
Whenever he feels like it

You shouldn't either
Since I'd think you'd want have my ass
All to yourself

But maybe you thinking it's fine
As long as it all stays in the family

I think it's fine so long as your nephew
Keeps stuffing envelopes
And I get the second promotion

So why don't we make that happen, huh?

Or I'm going to have to give you my walking papers
And then I'm going to have to walk
All the way to the nearest phone
And give your wife a call

And we don't want that, do we?

No, I didn't think so

I must have amazing intuition

Because something just told me
That today was not
A day to quit