Mirror Time

The guy in the therapist's office with me
Who, by the way, I'm pretty sure
I mean, pretty, you know, sure
Was my elementary school principal
We talk, I mean, we, chat
Because the guy who's in the office before us
Like, cries, for five minutes
And goes over his time
And, like, I don't blame the therapist
For getting to everybody late
Because, like, how do you stop a crying man
From crying?

I mean, you kinda just have to let them
Cry themselves out, right?

And I get there early
Because I'm always early
And I find waiting rooms soothing
And I like reading Time magazine
From seventeen years ago

All of it
Soothing
To me, I mean

And I'm seeing the therapist because--

Well the guy ahead of me
The possible principal
Is learning to be in the moment
And I'm--learning to be myself

God, what a fucking seventies album cover bullshit that whatever is, right?

Learning to be myself

The thing is, I'm young, you know?
But I'm not
I'm not young young
I'm not baby young
I'm...young-er than most
But not young young
And so one day I decided
That--

You know, it's like
You walk by a mirror
And suddenly
There's an adult in the mirror
Not a kid
And yet
You have all this kid stuff
Still, like, hanging on you

And that freaked me out
And so I decided
That I needed to see someone
To figure out
How to get all that stuff off me

Because I...

I don't want to be forty
Saying I used my time wrong

That I did it all wrong

As it is, you know, I've...

I feel like maybe I've wasted too much already

Because, you know
You think you've got a lot
You think you've got it to waste
And then one day
There's that mirror
And maybe you don't, you know?

I mean, you know you don't
But you still tell yourself
In indirect ways
That's it okay

That it's okay to lie
To lie to people
To lie about what you want
Who you are
What you see in that mirror
When somebody's staring right back at you
Saying 'bullshit, man, bullshit'
You know?

How much time am I going to spend in front of a mirror
Until I finally just look?

Until I finally just say
'Oh, right'
That's who it is

That's who I've been waiting for
All this time