The One Time I Don't

I play everyday
Okay
Everyday
And that's not an exaggeration
That's not, like, you know
What do they say?
Hyperbolic?
I'm not being hyperbolic
I mean, I bought those tickets
Every single day

I'd play my birthday
My mother's birthday
My parents' anniversary
My phone number
My girlfriend's birthday
All my girlfriends' birthdays
I mean, I used to spend a lot of money on this
Because, you know, you gotta spend money
To make money

I mean, you don't just fall into cash
You really have to invest
And know how to play the system
And be patient
I mean, this took a lot of time
I've been doing this for years, okay?
I mean, years of doing this
And people telling me
I'm wasting my time
And I'm wasting my money
And blah blah blah
And I just keep saying
It's okay
It's okay because eventually
I mean, if you play that much everyday
The odds, which, yes, are bad
Become not so bad
And I mean, it only takes one
It only takes one ticket
You see what I'm saying?

It only takes one
And you're golden
You're good for life

And then one day
I'm sick
I mean, I wake up
And I'm practically catatonic
Can't move
Cannot move
Can't even get to my cell phone
Which is charging on the nighstand next to me
To, like, call someone
For help, or whatever

I sit there for hours
And then finally
I'm fine

I'm okay

Just like that

So I rush to the hospital
Because I'm thinking--

This isn't normal
And I sit in some emergency room
For a few hours
And then they do tests
And nothing comes up
On any of them

I leave
I go home
I pass out again

I forget to play my numbers

And guess what numbers come out?

You got it

Split between these two people

Two people--not just one

And neither one of those two people
Is me

And you want to know
What I think?

You want to know my theory?

My theory is that time
Punished me

Time penalized me
For laying in that bed

For not trying harder
To get over my psycho-so-whatever
And go play

Because as soon as I didn't
There were my numbers

See, that's what time does to you
If you're not consistent

It gets you for it

It teaches you a lesson
It says--

See?

Here's what happens
When you're not on top of things

So now I'm back to square one

And from now on
I have plans

I have back-up plans
In case that weird whatever comes back

Friends and relatives
Who are going to play for me everyday
Just in case

I have new numbers
Better numbers
Numbers that seem like codes
For winning

I'm going to win next time

Next time when time is ready to screw me
I'll be ready to screw time instead