Pioneer Time

Excuse me, but I'm trying to reach someone--
A person--
A person with actual power--
Who might be able to help me
With my electricity

Well, it's off
And it's been off
For days
And I'm just wondering
When that, you know, won't be the case anymore?

Well, maybe some people enjoy
Living like a pioneer
But I'm not one of them
I don't enjoy being without a television
And a computer
And nothing to entertain me
But a cupboard full of junk food
When I'm supposed to be on a diet
I mean, is this some sort of cosmic plan
To make sure I gain weight
Before my friend's wedding?

I feel like a fat Amish person
And the last time I checked
We don't live in Pennsylvania
Or any other third world country
So why don't I have electricity?
WHY don't I have electricity?

I am looking across the street
And my neighbors

--Who, by the way, I sincerely doubt
Pay their bills
Because they have hippie bumper stickers
On that Prius they drive--

HAVE electricity

I mean, is there no justice left in this world?

All I want to do
Is watch the documentary I DVR-ed
On the koalas
And sit with my heating pad
And blend something

I WANT MY BLENDER!

Three days

I have spent three days
Without electricity
And that is a ridiculous amount of time
To spend
Reading by candlelight
Like some kind of perverse shut-in

So can you please--

Yes, I'll hold
But please be...

Well, I'm sure this won't take long