Time Limits

I'm giving myself twelve minutes
To clean the kitchen
Which seems like a reasonable amount of time

I mean, the kitchen's not that bad
I would say it's reasonably dirty
If there's such a thing as reasonably dirty
So twelve minutes should cover it
But I'm putting in a two minute buffer
In case underneath the sink
Is worse than I remember

I could always go look underneath the sink
And then figure out the time limit for the kitchen
But once I start planning
I hate to stop
Because it's just one of those things you have to do
When you're on a roll
Otherwise you spend too much time
Planning to plan
And the next thing you know
You're laid out on the coffee table
With an empty bag of mesquite potato chips next to you
Wondering where your life went

I gave myself twenty minutes for the bathroom
Because bathrooms can be deceptively dirty

A seemingly clean shower
Can lead to two hours of scrubbing and weeping
And swearing at your dog

The bedroom gets ten minutes
The living room gets fourteen
And each of the closets gets six
Except the bedroom closet
Which gets four hours

You know, it helps to have these limits
Because otherwise
You devote too much time to something
And I hate
I hate
Wasting time like that

It drives me insane

Because with a little forethought
You can avoid it altogether

I use my Sundays to plan my weeks
Well, up until Wednesday
And then I use Wednesday to plan until Friday
And then Saturday I just sort of wing it

Well, I wing the three hours that I don't plan

And let me tell you something
Those can be three
Crazy hours

But ultimately I like to make sure
That all bases are covered
At all times

Because, you know
Life's too short

Life's too short
To not make sure
You get the most out of it

Now, if you'll excuse me
I've got a messy closet
That needs me
For the next few hours