A Time to Function

Your sister is pregnant
Your mother doesn't know yet
I'm not even supposed to know yet
But I'm her father
I know these things

She came by last week
I took a look at her
And I knew

Probably that asshole
She's wasted the past six years now

Anyway, she'll probably need help
From us--from all of us
I could just give her money
But you know how she'd feel about that
So I think we're better off
Just putting in sweat equity
Offering to babysit
That kinda thing

That's why we're having this conversation

There are lots of things fathers know

Although, when it comes to you
There are things that lots of people know
They just don't say anything
Because it's not their place

It is my place, however
I was just hoping if I waited
Maybe you'd work all this out yourself

But now I can see that's not going to happen

Sweetheart, I am not going to get into the details
Of whatever problem it is
You're experiencing now

Talking about things, despite what people may tell you
Doesn't end up solving them
It ends up making you feel better about them

But while you feel better
You do absolutely nothing
To deal with the problems
And that's dangerous

If you're uncomfortable
Or you're upset
Or you're in pain
You need to deal with that

It'll inspire you
To fix whatever it is
That's gotten you to the point
Where you look like a walking corpse

What I'm here to tell you
Is that this may not be a time in your life
When you can strive

I've always pushed you girls
To strive, to excel
But I can see that won't be possible
At this current junction
So instead, I'm telling you

To focus on functioning

This is a time to function

Get to work on time
Clean your apartment
Make your bed

Shower, for godsakes

Nobody will judge you
For whatever it is that's going on with you
So long as you function

There was a time back when the business was bad
When I was drinking three times as much every night
As a homeless drunk on the street

But the difference
Between me and the drunk
Is that I could function

Functioning is about balance
And balance is what, if you embrace it
Will keep up your appearances
Even when all else fails

So you drink too much
But you show up early to appointments

You snort cocaine
But you attend church every week

You cheat on your wife
But you buy her jewelry
Just 'cause

You function

And through functioning
You end up thriving

See how that works?

So you need to go home
You need to shower
You need to set your alarm clock
And what you do after that
Is up to you

But above all else
Function

Got it?

Oh, and by the way
I want this to be the last time
We have this conversation