The First Time

I got the good condoms

The ones with the...things on them
That make it, you know
Better
For you

I got tons of them, so like--

If something happens
Which is, you know, rare
It's really rare
But
If something does happen
Then, like, we're set

Actually, stuff could happen, like
Twenty or thirty times
Before we'd have to worry
About being unprepared

I raided every Health Center
At every college
In the entire state
Minus Salve
Because I didn't have money
For the toll
But they're Catholic
So they probably don't give out
Condoms anyway
Right?

Are you nervous?

You don't have to be nervous

I Googled everything that's going to happen to you
And it's really not going to be as bad as you think

I guess at first it's unpleasant
And then it's sort of uncomfortable
And then it just doesn't really feel like anything
And by that point, we'll probably be done!

We might not even make it to uncomfortable!

I really just want to make sure
That your first time
Is as amazing
As possible

And if it can't be amazing
Then I'm going to at least make sure
I don't traumatize you

Because it would really suck
If you had to break up with me
Right after you take my virginity

Well...yeah
It's my first time too
Why do you think I had to do all the research?

I mean, I don't think I'll be terrible at it

Most of the websites say
If you can play the drums or juggle while whistling
You'll be pretty good at it

We could always wait, but...

I don't know

Now just seems like when we should, you know?

Don't you feel like it's
You know, like it's right?

But it's okay
We can go slow

We've got all the time in the world