Spread Out Over Time

You know, at first
When I came to your door
I thought maybe I had my days mixed up
And it was a Saturday

I took all last week off
Because my son had a cold
Now my inner clock is all messed up
You know how that happens?

Is your son sick too?

Of course, keeping him home to celebrate
Why not?

Why bother even sending him to school now, right?

I mean, it's not like you're not going to be
Set for life
With the winnings and--

God, you should have seen how nervous
My son was to go to school today

He said his teacher is giving them all a test
That can't be passed

It wouldn't surprise me
Seems like they're always giving them tests they can't pass
Am I right?

Well listen
I'm only here to congratulate you
And to offer you well wishes
From my company

We specialize in getting people such as yourself
What's rightfully theirs
As quickly as possible

We're not really lawyers, per se
Just interested parties
Who realize that it can be tough
Waiting years and years
To get you winnings

And only receiving a small percentage of that
Every year

I mean, as far as that goes
You might as well just keep working
Am I right?

I mean, what are they offering you?
Fifty thousand a year
For the rest of your life?

And what if, God forbid
Something were to happen to you?

Or what if you just want to splurge?

Buy a house?
Buy a nice car?
Move to Hawaii?

I mean, you won the lottery

You should be enjoying yourself!

And instead, you might have to just keep working
And sending your kid to school
For a few years
Until you've saved up enough
To live the lifestyle
That you are rightfully entitled to live

What my company does
Is offer you a cash settlement

You sign your winnings over to us
And we give you a percentage of that money
Right away
No waiting

Now, I'm not going to lie to you
It's a lot less
Than what you actually won
But the upside is
It's immediate

It's right there
On a check
Ready for you to cash

Now, it may seem like
We're playing on your impatience
But all we're really doing
Is giving you the opportunity
To seize your dreams
Your big dreams
As soon as possible

I mean, we're not all going to live forever
Am I right?

And besides, that son of yours
Looks like he could use a nice vacation

And I'm sure you'd like to live somewhere
Nicer than this

And you're shaking an awful lot
Maybe you're not...

...Feeling so well?

Maybe you need a doctor or just...

...Something to get you back on track?

Just a little fix

Nowadays even a little fix
Is expensive, isn't it?

I bet they're not even sending
That first check for another six weeks
Am I right?

And you probably could use some cash
Right now

So why don't we just look at this paperwork
And I can have a check here within the hour?

Hey now, don't feel bad

There's nothing wrong
With needing something right away

Why should you wait for anything
If you don't have to?