The Song's Too Long

The problem is
The song's too long
You know, you have to--
I mean, you really have to earn the right
To have a song that long

I mean, symphonies and shit are one thing
But this is--what?
I mean this is supposed to just be a song, right?
Like a song-song
Not a symphony

If you're going to have a song over three minutes
Then everything in the first three minutes needs to be brilliant
And everything after the first three minutes
Needs to be beyond brilliant
Because after three minutes
Anyone listening
Is checking out

With every art form
You have a certain amount of basic time
With which to, you know
Achieve something

So, like with visual arts
For the average person
You have about three seconds
Unless your piece has, like, shit coming out of it
Or it's about defiling Jesus
Or, you know, both

With movies you get about an hour and a half
With tv, you get twenty-five minutes
With books, ten pages
With music, three minutes--if that

That's not including pop music
Which is--I would say, maybe
Maybe--thirty seconds

So you gotta grab me, you know?

I mean, here I am
I'm waiting for a train
Maybe I'm here for five minutes
Ten if I'm some asshole who gets here early
And you're strumming along on your guitar

And you have the potential
To have me hear
Three to five songs
And yeah, they're short
They'd have to be short
But you'd still have five chances
To give me something

And instead
You keep going on the same song
Over and over

I feel like I'm in some sort of folk club
Listening to James Whoever-the-Fuck
Wane rhapsodic about North Dakota
Or whatever

You can't throw away
Your time like that, man

I mean, I'm just a barista
At the Starbucks in the station
But still, I know music

You should listen to me, man
I know what I'm talking about