How to Tell Time

When the big hand is on the twelve
And the little hand is on the twelve
Then time has stopped
And you should freeze wherever you are
And count to a thousand
Because counting to a thousand
Is the only way
To unfreeze time
But if you move while time is frozen
Your face will freeze forever
And then the rest of you
And pretty soon you'll be a snowman
And snowmen melt
So that would be pretty bad, wouldn't it?

When the big hand is on the three
And the little hand is on twelve
You're either up too late
Or it's time to eat lunch
Either way
You should make yourself a sandwich
Because big on three
And little on twelve
Is a very lucky time
Provided you're eating
When it strikes

When the big hand is on the six
And the little hand is on anything else
Then you're halfway between
One thing and another
And you have to decide
Before the big hand moves
Where you wanna be
When you're done being half of something
Or halfway towards something
However you want to look at it

When the big hand is on the nine
It's too late
To do whatever it is
You were trying to do
So you might as well give up
And do something else

When both hands are on the one
Something is just beginning
And you're there for that
For that beginning
So make the most out of it

When the little hand is on the eight
And the big hand is on the five
Go tell your mother you love her

When the little hand is on the five
And the big hand is on the eight
Go tell your mother you love her

Tell her every time you hear the clock chimes
And you'll have told her more times
Than most kids tell their mothers
But still not enough

But it's a start

And when you tell her you love her
She'll ask you
What made you say it

And that's when you say--

'Because Daddy taught me to tell time
And it was time to tell you'

She'll like that

We'll pick up here tomorrow
But for now
I'd suggest going into the kitchen
And telling your mother
What I just said

If I'm not mistaken
The clock
Is just about
To chime